Tickets purchased… Now just seven long months to plan and wait and wait some more…
Web Site Analytics
What the heck are those??? Well, this site using something called Analytics to measure who is coming to the site, how long, what pages and where from they hath come!
I logged in to see today, which I do not do frequently, and was blown away by what I saw!!! A lot of people from ALL OVER THE WORLD are coming to visit and I am thrilled. In the last 30 days as of this posting 630 visitors! Is that cool or what?
| 1. |
United States
|
478 | 3.57 | 00:02:54 | 74.48% | 49.37% |
| 2. |
United Kingdom
|
23 | 2.74 | 00:02:56 | 91.30% | 65.22% |
| 3. |
Canada
|
20 | 2.80 | 00:04:35 | 80.00% | 55.00% |
| 4. |
Germany
|
19 | 2.26 | 00:04:27 | 89.47% | 78.95% |
| 5. |
France
|
13 | 2.31 | 00:01:03 | 92.31% | 61.54% |
| 6. |
Brazil
|
10 | 1.30 | 00:02:00 | 80.00% | 80.00% |
| 7. |
Australia
|
9 | 1.56 | 00:00:34 | 44.44% | 77.78% |
| 8. |
Italy
|
6 | 1.50 | 00:00:23 | 100.00% | 66.67% |
| 9. |
Netherlands
|
5 | 3.40 | 00:01:23 | 80.00% | 20.00% |
| 10. |
Switzerland
|
5 | 1.00 | 00:00:00 | 100.00% | 100.00% |
Burner Relationships
In previous visits to the playa many of my lucky fellow burners have had the pleasure of playa-romances. Some are famous and some are discreet, but for the lucky ones who have romance that extend beyond the Black Rock it’s a magic unlike any other.
Other people I know, myself included, have become so smitten with the idea of a burner-lover/best-friend/etceteras have found networks to extend the search into the Mundane World. Sites like Burning-Singles.Com as well as various networks on Tribe.Net wantonly draw in people seeking other burners to partner with.
The sometimes ambiguous sexuality of many burners can either leave the field wide open or reduce the field for the more picky seeker of love.
Gender Identity
Is the idea of a Burner partner realistic or more along the lines of the elusive unicorn? Think about Burner men, of darn near any orientation, there is a fantasy life of glitter and fairy wings in their heads that is sometimes hard to attach to. Even when making their transition to the world outside of the Black Rock many do not easily re-attach. While others merge quickly and invisibly into landscape; are they still a desired partner if they assimilate well into the default world?
And Burner women? There is an uncommon strength and independence in a lot of women, noted by this author, at Burning Man. But there is a surprisingly high number of women who are self objectifying or responsive to male objectification; also noted by in a previous article from last year. Both these extremes play out and attract different potential partners for various reasons. However, the Burner female coming back to the default world seemingly exists between these realms of reality with more ease that their male counterparts.
These roles that unfold on playa versus the default world somehow even out on some levels, which is where burning-singles.com, Tribe.Net and ePlaya play out for the other 52 weeks of the year.
There are no statistics on the success of Burner relationships or one psychology defining the success or failure. However, in observation many Burner romances are sustained within the community. Yet, as the relationships age, it seems almost invariable that one partner will turn their back on Burning Man and move on. How they come to terms with it will also determine the survival of the relationship.
In a few cases, one partner decided they were completely done with Burning Man but allows and supports the other to continue that relationship on their own. It happens.
Open Relationships
The issue of promiscuity and sexual exploration have been associated with the culture among other indulgences. What I am taken by are the way some couples have accepted reduced boundaries thinking that would create more freedom in the infrastructure of the relationship.
Lately I noted a lot of couples splitting up right before and after the most recent Burn. In many of these cases, the perception of having a flirtatious and open a relationship was presented to an interested party. When it was acted upon the result blew up in their faces. Seems like it is titillating to consider playing outside or within the relationship, but when it is acted upon without caution it ends up destroying the trust in the relationship.
In spite of a loosely set mutual agreement, or even a spoken understanding, playing with the bonds of the archetype relationship often result in disaster. Going into a relationship leaving the door open for a potential additional partner stretches the bonds and sanctity of the relationship leaving insecurity and doubt in potential collision of individual ideals.
One of the more famous camps at Burning Man deals with these issues head on in an educational series; Poly Paradise. They offer a great series of classes for couple or individuals exploring a Poly lifestyle.
Conclusion
Whatever the makeup of your relationships and the romance that ensues from it, being smart about advancing it is key. Burner men and women are often gregarious and experimental, but we are all programmed with ideals and expectations. Often people like us are open to exploring with those limits or tolerances. Men and women of this ilk can offer a lot, but stability? Before jumping into the unknown or opening a door to something that can unsettle what you already have get an education. Do not go into it blindly.
That minute of that the idea of going poly or experimenting with an alternative relationship might not really be the solution to the success of the partnership. Do some research.
Recovery? How’s it going?
Every year, for those feeling affected by the journey/experience at BRC, there is an amount of time it takes to get back into the flow. For this guy, I am still trying to swim to the surface.
Yesterday and today I have been in a funk, thinking about my time out there, yet looking ahead. Share your story…
Video: Boys of Burning Man
Came across this and thought I would post it. Not such a big deal, but it was a nice little shortie.
Queer Tails of the Playa
Tell your story from the Comments section below! Use this for short stories or experiences you had this year or any previous year you are dying to share. (..and yes, I know I wrote Tails and not Tales)
Getting Mail @ Burning Man
When mailing to the playa please address your playa-bound mail as completely as possible in this format to increase the odds of your mail being received:
CAMPER’S PLAYA NAME or REAL NAME …or better, both.
CAMP NAME (and any helpful descriptions of street facade, tents, or large features that might be at this location to help the postie find the addressee)
CAMP ADDRESS: as close as you can get (example: 9:35 and Hummer) &/or nearest cross-street, and even Man-side or mountain-side (if you know)
C/O BRCPO
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412
PLEASE be sure to put a return address on all incoming mail. Should we not find the addressee we will return all undelivered mail to sender.
Buis. Side of Burning Man
So, I was posting the new page Decompression Digest today when I realized that just recently I remember reading an article in The Examiner how Burning Man, LLC sued someone for using the word “decompression” in their advertising. I always hear haw fervently BMorg protected their name, been warned a few times be people who were excessively nervous, but never really saw much enforcement before.
This writer definitely believes in protecting the brand and the principles of an organization like this, which is why following Burning Man, LLC letter about coyright that went out to the general community I wrote the BM legal office describing both web sites managed by StudioSK (me) because of the use of the name “burner” in both titles (LVBurners.Com and GayBurners.Com). Each site contains a disclaimer about how this site is not a product of Burning Man, LLC or has any affiliation.
I find when writing anything on these site, legal words roll through my head, even before the idea of protecting the brand; which is a very close second.
It is what it is. I am writing this because when I started the previously mentioned page my mind reflected back to that article and how many times I have to carefully pluck my words to honor the unwritten contract I have with Burning Man. (pause) Wait, I guess I signed an agreement last time I went to Burning Man.
Wait, when I registered on ePlaya.
Er, uhm, my paperwork for my 2010 art project for Burning Man, LLC.
Basically, it’s everywhere. They are a corporation and at the same time is promoting the principle of Radical Self-Expression. If I were to ever become a Regional the contract would become official and binding on a new level, but I still honor all that.
This article is not a smooch the the legal ass of Burning Man, LLC and it’s registered Trademarks (sorry Dan), but something I felt like writing because of the wheels turning in my head with each of these creations. I have to make sure I do not cross the line. Anyone does, when it comes to playing with other peoples business.
Believe it or not, and only a few people know this, I actually was told by Marian Goodell in a very pleasant conversation that one of my previous posts really came close or stood on top of that line. Provocative was not a word I would use on that article from last year, but Marian said is was not as benign as I felt it was; especially since it dealt with a sensitive issue in the BM world.
The plus side is, some people at BMorg got to know me a little. The drawback… I can’t think of one. Hopefully the drawback won’t be people at BMorg getting to know me better because I would jump into that pool in a heart beat.
Bottom line is that myself and anyone posting on my sites, or anyone on their endeavors, have to be careful about the things we are representing. It leads us to respecting the bigger picture as well. So when I go into a long circle to get to a point sometimes with carefully worded phrases please understand. 🙂
Read more on the Business Side of Burning Man on LaughingSquid.Com
ButchPirate On A Mission ’09
It was my virgin year as well in ’09, but I was on a mission. Not to get laid, not to get wasted till I puked my guts out and slept for three days, and definitely not to go on any sort of drug induced mind trip. Not at all. I was hesitant about even going in the first place and kept thinking, maybe next year I’ll go instead. Something, somewhere, in the inner ear canal to my subconscious mind, I was told I needed to go. No explanation, no reason, not at this time. There was a purpose, but I need not to know at that point. I bought my ticket.
When it arrived, I got my Atomic Fireball and was told the story behind them being in the envelope. I stared at the ticket for days and kept asking myself, why do I NEED to go? I understand needing to go to the doctor, the dentist, the auto shop, the grocery store, work, home….but Burning Man? Sure I had gone to a number of regional events at that point and wanted to go to Burning Man, but that question kept coming up. Why do I NEED to go?
Fast forward to mid February ’09. I was at Disneyland for my birthday weekend with some other friends who were also celebrating their birthdays too. My buddy Glynn met me at the park on Saturday with a biggo butch brutha hug, then looked me in the eyes with sorrow and concern. “Kasey isn’t doing so good”. Glynn told me about the procedures she went through, and they found out that Kasey was in stage 4 of stomach cancer. My heart sank. That night in the hotel room, I quietly asked if this is what I needed to go to Burning Man for? No reply. I didn’t make sense. When I used to tell Kasey about Burning Man, she was just not interested. It wasn’t her thing. I still didn’t get it.
Glynn and another friend Margo had kept me updated on Kasey. She was in Sacramento and I’m in Las Vegas, so I couldn’t just go see her whenever. Texts and phone calls two or three times a day. I was becoming deeply saddened over all of this because, well, Kasey and I had gotten into an argument a while back and I quit talking to her. I was angry at the situation and because I didn’t get my way, I just stopped talking to her. My pride got in the way of our friendship.
A month later, I got the phone call from Glynn. That one that no one wants to get. Even if Glynn had left a message, I still would have had to call back and hear those two words “Kasey’s gone” on the other end of the phone.
Weeks later, I traveled to LA for one of Kasey’s memorial services. She loved pink, and we all wore pink somewhere on us that entire weekend. She also loved glitter and we glittered each other all weekend as well. Pink and glittery anything. That Saturday night we were all in Margo’s backyard making S’mores and remembering Kasey, I looked up and saw the moon. I had to get everyone together to see this. We all stood there, holding each other and crying. This is what we saw.
Amazing isn’t it? Kasey was smiling at us. We could feel her there with us.
Once again, I was left with the question of why do I NEED to go to Burning Man. Then it was all made very clear to me. I had to do something to let her know how sorry I was for being an asshole. My lesson was learned. I got it. (While Kasey was in the hospital, I couldn’t talk to her on the phone. I sent Glynn and Margo messages to let Kasey know that I was sorry for what I did and even though they gave her the messages, I was told that she just smiled.)
My mission was very clear to me, and after much thought I decided what I was going to do. I made a pink mailbox, with pictures of Kasey and little pink hearts all over it, gave all of Kasey’s friends and family our address at Burning Man and told them to write Kasey a letter and I will put it in her mailbox. On Saturday at Burning Man, I will dress up like Hermes and deliver Kasey’s mailbox with all the letters in them to the Temple. That was my plan. THAT was my mission.
It didn’t take me long to make the mailbox and I had arranged for Margo to send Boots (a pink sock monkey that travels around the country in honor of Kasey) to me at Burning Man.
That Saturday afternoon at Burning Man, Toaster, Malicious, Cameron and myself (with Boots in tow of course) hopped on The Neighbors Dog and drove out to the Temple with Kasey’s mailbox.
I didn’t get a chance to dress up like Hermes, but I guess it was the thought that counted. Anyways, we drove out to the Temple and as we got there and started walking up to the Temple, a man on a bike from The Post Office came up to us. “Kasey Kirby?” We all turned around with the mailbox in my arms to acknowledge him. He told us that he was at our village and they told him that we were on our way to deliver the mailbox. My heart sank. This guy rode his bike from 7:00 and Esplanade to the Temple to deliver a letter to Kasey! We all looked amazed that someone did this, not knowing anything of this journey. I asked him to put it in the mailbox and we thanked him as he went on his way. As we all walked inside the Temple, I was taken back by everything I saw and felt. I couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt other than sorrow. We went upstairs and found a spot for Kasey’s mailbox. Toaster placed it in the Temple for me because, well, I’m short. 🙂
At the Temple burn, I said my good bye’s to Kasey, told her again how sorry I was. I wasn’t asking for any kind of forgiveness, I just wanted her to know that I was sorry for everything. Since then, when I think of her and start to cry, I get this feeling of….it’s ok….over me. I still carry this burden with me every day that I didn’t talk to her and say good bye, and I will for the rest of my life….until we meet again.
Playa Sexuality
Sexuality and Burning Man… people outside of BM have often described BM as a place where people to get all fucked up and run around naked. Essentially, that wraps Burning Man up in a nice neat cloth for them.
My arrival to Burning Man for my 2009 virgin year came with a warning from OhTony: “If you go to the playa expecting to get laid you will not”… of which I took to heart as well as working on eliminating any other expectation as noted in one of my recent blogs.
Sex, in a way, is another form of self expression. Some people express themselves badly, some awkwardly, and some rather indulgently. There are plenty of camps that will let you play out your fantasies even if it is something you (or your straight buddy) might only do during these 8 days. According to a Ranger I know he is surprised whom he sees enjoying themselves at the Downlow Club in the shadows.
People come to Burning Man playing out their fantasies and upon returning to the default world assume their Clark Kent identities. It can’t be all spandex and light wire, huh?
Orgy camps are everywhere and even in our own little communities listed right on Gay Burners there are some playful huts to engage in those indulgences.
When you think of playa sexuality:
- I am the same on playa as I am in the default world. (50%, 5 Votes)
- I swing other ways while on playa and get my freak on in the default world. (20%, 2 Votes)
- I am a hedonist, so what's the point? (20%, 2 Votes)
- I explore the fruits the playa offers, but refrain in the default world. (10%, 1 Votes)
- I am not there for indulgence. (0%, 0 Votes)
Total Voters: 10
Loading ...Sexuality is even taught! Camp Beaverton has a whole series of classes about varying sexuality and their own guru Dr. Reid (www.reidaboutsex.com) and others teaching the delights of strap-ons and other techniques.
The hedonistic part of Burning Man is an extension of people expressing themselves and with this liberation comes other unbridled behaviors that occasionally come dripping with pheromones. But, do not let that be your motivation for coming to the playa, because the magic of this desert will smack your dick right into the dirt. OhTony said it best and it is advice well taken. Go to Burning Man for the experience and leave the expectations with your dirt angels.
One camp I ventured to with a “straight” couple I met had a large white tent actually marked “orgy” and there was a beautiful young man standing outside who bid us welcome. He assessed our dynamic quickly – 2 dudes and a chick – assuming that we were seeking carnal pleasures, which was inaccurate. We were told we were all welcome irregardless of orientation to come play. It was 1pm and we were really looking for a steam bath we heard about.
The discovery of this orgy tent between 6:00 and 7:00 on A was a footnote placed in the back of our heads, but later my 2 ‘hetero’ camp-mates went back to find the same tent and said they could not find it. Was it a mirage?
Regarding our own camps, I heard a lot about “Jiffy Lube” [now called Stiffy Lube] and made that my first stop there late one night. It was a tent discreetly placed almost behind Comfort & Joy. Although I like a good play-time, the vibe and presence was dark and carnal in a way that was not my cup of tea. Yet, it looked like it could be a fun place for quick and discreet fun. Alas, I made the decision to go to Comfort & Joy for another flavor of entertainment.
Charming and energetic performers took the stage on one and of the large tent while they attracted an audience, the opposite site of this tent was lined with air-mattresses and on them people paying varying degrees of attention to the show. Between shows the action intensified. It was so comfortable in that camp and the entertainment varied enough where it was not all about sex, but almost a microcosm of the gay Burning Man experience unto itself.
It’s not all about indulgence, sex and drag performers…. no. Camp Stella is a dry and sober experience that I missed in 2009 but look forward to spending time at this year. Yes, I rolled my balls off last year, but I plan on coming a little more sober this year for my own reasons. Maybe Stella will be the people to share that with?
So, sex at Burning Man is plentiful and there is no reason to go looking for it because it will find you if it is meant to be. Breathe in the experience like playa dust and embrace anything that comes your way. There is more than sex out there, there is more than getting high, but even with all those things keep your mind and hearts open and participate in as much as you can.