Burning Man LGBTQIA+ and our Allies
Every year, for those feeling affected by the journey/experience at BRC, there is an amount of time it takes to get back into the flow. For this guy, I am still trying to swim to the surface.
Yesterday and today I have been in a funk, thinking about my time out there, yet looking ahead. Share your story…
Came across this and thought I would post it. Not such a big deal, but it was a nice little shortie.
Tell your story from the Comments section below! Use this for short stories or experiences you had this year or any previous year you are dying to share. (..and yes, I know I wrote Tails and not Tales)
When mailing to the playa please address your playa-bound mail as completely as possible in this format to increase the odds of your mail being received:
CAMPER’S PLAYA NAME or REAL NAME …or better, both.
CAMP NAME (and any helpful descriptions of street facade, tents, or large features that might be at this location to help the postie find the addressee)
CAMP ADDRESS: as close as you can get (example: 9:35 and Hummer) &/or nearest cross-street, and even Man-side or mountain-side (if you know)
C/O BRCPO
Burning Man
Gerlach, NV 89412
PLEASE be sure to put a return address on all incoming mail. Should we not find the addressee we will return all undelivered mail to sender.
So, I was posting the new page Decompression Digest today when I realized that just recently I remember reading an article in The Examiner how Burning Man, LLC sued someone for using the word “decompression” in their advertising. I always hear haw fervently BMorg protected their name, been warned a few times be people who were excessively nervous, but never really saw much enforcement before.
This writer definitely believes in protecting the brand and the principles of an organization like this, which is why following Burning Man, LLC letter about coyright that went out to the general community I wrote the BM legal office describing both web sites managed by StudioSK (me) because of the use of the name “burner” in both titles (LVBurners.Com and GayBurners.Com). Each site contains a disclaimer about how this site is not a product of Burning Man, LLC or has any affiliation.
I find when writing anything on these site, legal words roll through my head, even before the idea of protecting the brand; which is a very close second.
It is what it is. I am writing this because when I started the previously mentioned page my mind reflected back to that article and how many times I have to carefully pluck my words to honor the unwritten contract I have with Burning Man. (pause) Wait, I guess I signed an agreement last time I went to Burning Man.
Wait, when I registered on ePlaya.
Er, uhm, my paperwork for my 2010 art project for Burning Man, LLC.
Basically, it’s everywhere. They are a corporation and at the same time is promoting the principle of Radical Self-Expression. If I were to ever become a Regional the contract would become official and binding on a new level, but I still honor all that.
This article is not a smooch the the legal ass of Burning Man, LLC and it’s registered Trademarks (sorry Dan), but something I felt like writing because of the wheels turning in my head with each of these creations. I have to make sure I do not cross the line. Anyone does, when it comes to playing with other peoples business.
Believe it or not, and only a few people know this, I actually was told by Marian Goodell in a very pleasant conversation that one of my previous posts really came close or stood on top of that line. Provocative was not a word I would use on that article from last year, but Marian said is was not as benign as I felt it was; especially since it dealt with a sensitive issue in the BM world.
The plus side is, some people at BMorg got to know me a little. The drawback… I can’t think of one. Hopefully the drawback won’t be people at BMorg getting to know me better because I would jump into that pool in a heart beat.
Bottom line is that myself and anyone posting on my sites, or anyone on their endeavors, have to be careful about the things we are representing. It leads us to respecting the bigger picture as well. So when I go into a long circle to get to a point sometimes with carefully worded phrases please understand. 🙂
Read more on the Business Side of Burning Man on LaughingSquid.Com
It was my virgin year as well in ’09, but I was on a mission. Not to get laid, not to get wasted till I puked my guts out and slept for three days, and definitely not to go on any sort of drug induced mind trip. Not at all. I was hesitant about even going in the first place and kept thinking, maybe next year I’ll go instead. Something, somewhere, in the inner ear canal to my subconscious mind, I was told I needed to go. No explanation, no reason, not at this time. There was a purpose, but I need not to know at that point. I bought my ticket.
When it arrived, I got my Atomic Fireball and was told the story behind them being in the envelope. I stared at the ticket for days and kept asking myself, why do I NEED to go? I understand needing to go to the doctor, the dentist, the auto shop, the grocery store, work, home….but Burning Man? Sure I had gone to a number of regional events at that point and wanted to go to Burning Man, but that question kept coming up. Why do I NEED to go?
Fast forward to mid February ’09. I was at Disneyland for my birthday weekend with some other friends who were also celebrating their birthdays too. My buddy Glynn met me at the park on Saturday with a biggo butch brutha hug, then looked me in the eyes with sorrow and concern. “Kasey isn’t doing so good”. Glynn told me about the procedures she went through, and they found out that Kasey was in stage 4 of stomach cancer. My heart sank. That night in the hotel room, I quietly asked if this is what I needed to go to Burning Man for? No reply. I didn’t make sense. When I used to tell Kasey about Burning Man, she was just not interested. It wasn’t her thing. I still didn’t get it.
Glynn and another friend Margo had kept me updated on Kasey. She was in Sacramento and I’m in Las Vegas, so I couldn’t just go see her whenever. Texts and phone calls two or three times a day. I was becoming deeply saddened over all of this because, well, Kasey and I had gotten into an argument a while back and I quit talking to her. I was angry at the situation and because I didn’t get my way, I just stopped talking to her. My pride got in the way of our friendship.
A month later, I got the phone call from Glynn. That one that no one wants to get. Even if Glynn had left a message, I still would have had to call back and hear those two words “Kasey’s gone” on the other end of the phone.
Weeks later, I traveled to LA for one of Kasey’s memorial services. She loved pink, and we all wore pink somewhere on us that entire weekend. She also loved glitter and we glittered each other all weekend as well. Pink and glittery anything. That Saturday night we were all in Margo’s backyard making S’mores and remembering Kasey, I looked up and saw the moon. I had to get everyone together to see this. We all stood there, holding each other and crying. This is what we saw.
Amazing isn’t it? Kasey was smiling at us. We could feel her there with us.
Once again, I was left with the question of why do I NEED to go to Burning Man. Then it was all made very clear to me. I had to do something to let her know how sorry I was for being an asshole. My lesson was learned. I got it. (While Kasey was in the hospital, I couldn’t talk to her on the phone. I sent Glynn and Margo messages to let Kasey know that I was sorry for what I did and even though they gave her the messages, I was told that she just smiled.)
My mission was very clear to me, and after much thought I decided what I was going to do. I made a pink mailbox, with pictures of Kasey and little pink hearts all over it, gave all of Kasey’s friends and family our address at Burning Man and told them to write Kasey a letter and I will put it in her mailbox. On Saturday at Burning Man, I will dress up like Hermes and deliver Kasey’s mailbox with all the letters in them to the Temple. That was my plan. THAT was my mission.
It didn’t take me long to make the mailbox and I had arranged for Margo to send Boots (a pink sock monkey that travels around the country in honor of Kasey) to me at Burning Man.
That Saturday afternoon at Burning Man, Toaster, Malicious, Cameron and myself (with Boots in tow of course) hopped on The Neighbors Dog and drove out to the Temple with Kasey’s mailbox.
I didn’t get a chance to dress up like Hermes, but I guess it was the thought that counted. Anyways, we drove out to the Temple and as we got there and started walking up to the Temple, a man on a bike from The Post Office came up to us. “Kasey Kirby?” We all turned around with the mailbox in my arms to acknowledge him. He told us that he was at our village and they told him that we were on our way to deliver the mailbox. My heart sank. This guy rode his bike from 7:00 and Esplanade to the Temple to deliver a letter to Kasey! We all looked amazed that someone did this, not knowing anything of this journey. I asked him to put it in the mailbox and we thanked him as he went on his way. As we all walked inside the Temple, I was taken back by everything I saw and felt. I couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt other than sorrow. We went upstairs and found a spot for Kasey’s mailbox. Toaster placed it in the Temple for me because, well, I’m short. 🙂
At the Temple burn, I said my good bye’s to Kasey, told her again how sorry I was. I wasn’t asking for any kind of forgiveness, I just wanted her to know that I was sorry for everything. Since then, when I think of her and start to cry, I get this feeling of….it’s ok….over me. I still carry this burden with me every day that I didn’t talk to her and say good bye, and I will for the rest of my life….until we meet again.
Sexuality and Burning Man… people outside of BM have often described BM as a place where people to get all fucked up and run around naked. Essentially, that wraps Burning Man up in a nice neat cloth for them.
My arrival to Burning Man for my 2009 virgin year came with a warning from OhTony: “If you go to the playa expecting to get laid you will not”… of which I took to heart as well as working on eliminating any other expectation as noted in one of my recent blogs.
Sex, in a way, is another form of self expression. Some people express themselves badly, some awkwardly, and some rather indulgently. There are plenty of camps that will let you play out your fantasies even if it is something you (or your straight buddy) might only do during these 8 days. According to a Ranger I know he is surprised whom he sees enjoying themselves at the Downlow Club in the shadows.
People come to Burning Man playing out their fantasies and upon returning to the default world assume their Clark Kent identities. It can’t be all spandex and light wire, huh?
Orgy camps are everywhere and even in our own little communities listed right on Gay Burners there are some playful huts to engage in those indulgences.
When you think of playa sexuality:
Total Voters: 10
Loading ...Sexuality is even taught! Camp Beaverton has a whole series of classes about varying sexuality and their own guru Dr. Reid (www.reidaboutsex.com) and others teaching the delights of strap-ons and other techniques.
The hedonistic part of Burning Man is an extension of people expressing themselves and with this liberation comes other unbridled behaviors that occasionally come dripping with pheromones. But, do not let that be your motivation for coming to the playa, because the magic of this desert will smack your dick right into the dirt. OhTony said it best and it is advice well taken. Go to Burning Man for the experience and leave the expectations with your dirt angels.
One camp I ventured to with a “straight” couple I met had a large white tent actually marked “orgy” and there was a beautiful young man standing outside who bid us welcome. He assessed our dynamic quickly – 2 dudes and a chick – assuming that we were seeking carnal pleasures, which was inaccurate. We were told we were all welcome irregardless of orientation to come play. It was 1pm and we were really looking for a steam bath we heard about.
The discovery of this orgy tent between 6:00 and 7:00 on A was a footnote placed in the back of our heads, but later my 2 ‘hetero’ camp-mates went back to find the same tent and said they could not find it. Was it a mirage?
Regarding our own camps, I heard a lot about “Jiffy Lube” [now called Stiffy Lube] and made that my first stop there late one night. It was a tent discreetly placed almost behind Comfort & Joy. Although I like a good play-time, the vibe and presence was dark and carnal in a way that was not my cup of tea. Yet, it looked like it could be a fun place for quick and discreet fun. Alas, I made the decision to go to Comfort & Joy for another flavor of entertainment.
Charming and energetic performers took the stage on one and of the large tent while they attracted an audience, the opposite site of this tent was lined with air-mattresses and on them people paying varying degrees of attention to the show. Between shows the action intensified. It was so comfortable in that camp and the entertainment varied enough where it was not all about sex, but almost a microcosm of the gay Burning Man experience unto itself.
It’s not all about indulgence, sex and drag performers…. no. Camp Stella is a dry and sober experience that I missed in 2009 but look forward to spending time at this year. Yes, I rolled my balls off last year, but I plan on coming a little more sober this year for my own reasons. Maybe Stella will be the people to share that with?
So, sex at Burning Man is plentiful and there is no reason to go looking for it because it will find you if it is meant to be. Breathe in the experience like playa dust and embrace anything that comes your way. There is more than sex out there, there is more than getting high, but even with all those things keep your mind and hearts open and participate in as much as you can.
So, @Craig inspired me to write a quick post. I am also managing to avoid doing some work I reallllllly need to be doing.
I drove to Burning Man with @ButchPirate (another member of this site) and it was a great trip. We arrived in Gerlach by mid day on Sunday, bound for the front gate. To our shock (2 newbs) we were unable to get in even though we were part of a planned Village. No problem, we planned for plan b, because I had a 5 gallon Home Depot jug filled with crappy orange drink and crappy vodka ready to share.
Before I go another step further, let me tell you I did a lot of reading and prep before my trip. I may have done too much, but one of the best resources was Tales of the Playa by OhTony which I have posted on this site below. There are 4 parts you must see.
Burner: Tales from the Playa – Part One from Tony Edwards on Vimeo.
Basically he said, go with no expectations. When @Craig (new member on GB) wrote “I made a decision before driving up that I would spend a week not judging anyone, about anything. Everyone I met was the same, be it man or woman” I thought to myself, yes. Yes, that takes it even a step further.
I did not expect sex. I eliminated expectations of partying and how people would embrace or deny me. I eliminated almost every expectation except one!!!! The one that bit me in the ass!
So, I digress. We arrived at the gate too early, so we drove back to Gerlach and spotted a lonely cowboy kicking back at a van and he told us his story. He voice was rough like broken glass and his style was cowboy rockstar who just finished his first joint. We parked close by and pulled out the 5 gallon Home Depot jug filled with crappy orange drink and crappy vodka. Gradually people started gathering more and more and we were dishing out every drop of rot gut we had. My co-host Butch Pirate was awesome.
5 minutes to midnight we jumped in and drove 9 miles to the front gate, arriving in line at 12:02 am Monday morning. I saw purple l.e.d.s arching through the sky. We made dirt angels when they discovered we were virgins. We were warned about narcs and being good citizens. We were thrilled….
On the way in, 100 meters to the left was a shuttle craft from the Starship Enterprise* ghosting us on the way in. Camp was easy to find. We were part of Sin City Village at 7:00 and Esplanade. 1:05 am we arrived and Butch went to set up her camp while I wandered into our dark village to see what was going on.
Part of our camp was Party Naked Tiki Bar. It was also dark, but a Las Vegas community member was sitting there clothed and in a cape talking to a tall, lean, and albeit sexy hippie boy who was called Faun. Faun was naked and drunk and the first person I saw upon arrival. I was drawn to Faun and their was an unmistakable reaction to my interest in this sexy hippie. Ten minutes later we were getting to know each other very well in the back of my car.
Thank you Burning Man.
I spent so much time on Bam Bam’s art car; a mobile strip club with neon carpets and padding with black light. I rolled my balls off at Opulent Temple and found wonderful things at Comfort and Joy. Every day was a social and visual thrill, both arousing and stimulating, at Center Camp with my daily coffee. Every night was a new adventure, dancing, staying with my community and meeting so many more people.
What was funny was running into people by chance I knew even in that whirlwind. Seeing my Utah homies at Basecamp, meeting DaBomb at center camp from L.A. Burners, running into other Vegas burners in the middle of the dirt by chance who I had no idea were there at all. There is magic out there.
My only expectation that went unfulfilled and left me a little wounded was… the dream of finding that someone special out there; an emotional connection of a different kind of magic. I thought I found it in the eyes of at least 3 guys here and there. Alas, no. But I would not change a single passing moment. It was perfect for my first time being out there.
*The shuttle craft turned out to be driven by people who are now friends and who had moved to Vegas in the last year. LadyMurv and Leslie (I don’t know his playa name) are now friends here in Vegas and I got a huge laugh when we realized that they were the first art car I saw upon my arrival.
Footnote: it turned out not to be a quick post… I encourage anyone who wants to to let me know they want to write something too like this!
I am so grateful and excited to see so many people joining this site. I know it will get more active as we get closer to BM, but go quiet as it passes. Seems to be the normal heart beat of Burner sites.
Thank you all so much. I hope we can keep this rolling… hugs. Peace. Love.
What does it take to be ready for your journey to Burning Man? Ask yourself ‘are you ready?’ Will you ever be ready? So many people blindly wander into this journey thinking it is some hippy, feel-good, love fest where people will share and give endlessly.
Burner: Tales from the Playa – Part One from Tony Edwards on Vimeo.
The gifting economy of Burning Man is a generous thing, but the mundanes gliding into this world on glitter shitting unicorns might be surprised. Gifting is not asked for or expected. Gifting is not necessarily for the exchange of goods. That’s called bartering, which works too, but go to Burning Man prepared.
10 Principles of Burning Man say it all! However, the most important is Redical Self-Reliance. Toaster says “Take care of your own shit”. Do not rely on the generous nature of others to fill your void. So even if it is painful resist burdening others for your lack of planning.
Are you Playa Primed?
The absolutely best resources are all located on the Burning Man home page, without a doubt. However, use all the resources at your disposal. The best advice is to get to know people in your community or join another and become part of the do-acracy. Burning Man is a participatory entity.
