a clip from my blog you can find here –> Mot’s blog
A very Burning Man evening
A early week snafu ended up cancelling some evening plans for me and left me in a funk for the evening. ( And let me tell ya – I know how to Stew..) But in a odd twist – my funk was crashed by strangers who managed to pull me out for a very fun – very Burning Man / very not Tom evening.
It began basically out on Center Playa while I took sunset pics from a great temple. I was trying to put the brakes on my SNIT FLYWHEEL** ( which was hitting about 14,000 rpm) by distracting myself.
**- You may find that phrase strange unless you are genetically related to me – **
After a couple of conversations with very nice folks and a stop back at camp – I headed back towards the playa for some evening pictures and an attempt to walk off my funk.
But it was not meant to be!
2 strangers promptly stopped their 4 person bike and asked me to get on and then evening promptly took another direction. A wonderful Burning Man kind of experience to suddenly team up with people you have just met to share the evening touring the night sights of the playa.
We stopped by a neat camp called Big Pink Heart and had our pic taken. The photographer Aaron Dressin had a neat set up that reflected in the eyes of the subject if you look carefully. I ended up at a camp all the way across the playa drinking rum(?) and hanging with some very funny people. It was a fun end to the night.
I still contemplate the evening for some reason.
I note how I can shut myself off when in such a bad mood – yet a random act can so quickly pull me out
I think i also focus on how startled I get to have 2 straight guys just want to be buds. The whole straight guy ” you’re gay??” awkwardness thing is too ingrained on my experience. I expect it always and on the rare occasion it does not happen… I just get spooked. I think you can almost see it in the picture. ( Which I love BTW) I have spent a lot of time since then thinking how/if this jades my daily life or whether BurningMan was the exception.
How to keep the windows open despite the rain?
In previous visits to the playa many of my lucky fellow burners have had the pleasure of playa-romances. Some are famous and some are discreet, but for the lucky ones who have romance that extend beyond the Black Rock it’s a magic unlike any other.
Is the idea of a Burner partner realistic or more along the lines of the elusive unicorn? Think about Burner men, of darn near any orientation, there is a fantasy life of glitter and fairy wings in their heads that is sometimes hard to attach to. Even when making their transition to the world outside of the Black Rock many do not easily re-attach. While others merge quickly and invisibly into landscape; are they still a desired partner if they assimilate well into the default world?
And Burner women? There is an uncommon strength and independence in a lot of women, noted by this author, at Burning Man. But there is a surprisingly high number of women who are self objectifying or responsive to male objectification; also noted by in a previous article from last year. Both these extremes play out and attract different potential partners for various reasons. However, the Burner female coming back to the default world seemingly exists between these realms of reality with more ease that their male counterparts.
In a few cases, one partner decided they were completely done with Burning Man but allows and supports the other to continue that relationship on their own. It happens.
Weeks later, I traveled to LA for one of Kasey’s memorial services. She loved pink, and we all wore pink somewhere on us that entire weekend. She also loved glitter and we glittered each other all weekend as well. Pink and glittery anything. That Saturday night we were all in Margo’s backyard making S’mores and remembering Kasey, I looked up and saw the moon. I had to get everyone together to see this. We all stood there, holding each other and crying. This is what we saw.
It didn’t take me long to make the mailbox and I had arranged for Margo to send Boots (a pink sock monkey that travels around the country in honor of Kasey) to me at Burning Man.
I didn’t get a chance to dress up like Hermes, but I guess it was the thought that counted. Anyways, we drove out to the Temple and as we got there and started walking up to the Temple, a man on a bike from The Post Office came up to us. “Kasey Kirby?” We all turned around with the mailbox in my arms to acknowledge him. He told us that he was at our village and they told him that we were on our way to deliver the mailbox. My heart sank. This guy rode his bike from 7:00 and Esplanade to the Temple to deliver a letter to Kasey! We all looked amazed that someone did this, not knowing anything of this journey. I asked him to put it in the mailbox and we thanked him as he went on his way. As we all walked inside the Temple, I was taken back by everything I saw and felt. I couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt other than sorrow. We went upstairs and found a spot for Kasey’s mailbox. Toaster placed it in the Temple for me because, well, I’m short. 🙂
At the Temple burn, I said my good bye’s to Kasey, told her again how sorry I was. I wasn’t asking for any kind of forgiveness, I just wanted her to know that I was sorry for everything. Since then, when I think of her and start to cry, I get this feeling of….it’s ok….over me. I still carry this burden with me every day that I didn’t talk to her and say good bye, and I will for the rest of my life….until we meet again.
