So, it seems to be happening. When one had gone to Burning Man for a few years now it is an experience on a level that is different than people heading out in their freshman and sophomore years. Inevitably the single person will meet and date someone who wants to join in the experience as well and… there-in lies a new challenge.
Burgin Dreams
That person going to burning man enough years where the glitter had been finally washed out of their eyes has met someone who sees Burning Man as something shiny and new. It happened. It’s meant to be shared.
It’s that person who arrived to the party who wants to run around naked on happy pills while the rest of us are sitting back and chilling out. It’s like being in two different states of being trying to inhabit the same journey that inevitably leads to some kind of misunderstanding.
As entertaining and cute as it might be, for some of those who traveled the road a while it is a very different experience. We look out for our burgins in theme camps and the friends we brought out there, but it’s very different when it’s you and the person you are dating.
Gone Shoppin’ – A Story
Taking my burgin partner shopping was an eye opening experience and walking him through the various shops I saw other young burgins eagerly making their purchases and realized I was in a clearly different place.
- Goggle – check (with no vents and fit properly. It’s also important to have goggle that work at night and at day time).
- Dust Mask – check (a lot easier to get anything that will let you breathe and not inhale a bunch of playa).
- Lighting – we do not want to walk the city at night without illumination: no dark-tards here.
He found a cap and marching goggles right out of “She’s So High” by Tal Bachmal video (below) and something inside me wanted to cry but in my attempt to be open minded I faked a smile and told him he should have whatever he wants. It seems like he was getting caught up in the idea costumes were a necessity when we all know it is really just whatever creative expression you want to bring.
I was really bad at being supportive.
However, after talking to more people he worried less about having a Steampunk outfit and just making sure he had what he needed to be safe and alive out on the playa. He might never read the survival guide assuming his boyfriend was going to make sure everything happened the right way. I might have my sparkle pony this year or I might be pleasantly surprised, but I will know it while we are at Burning Man for the first time together.
Your New Adventure Together
Have a conversation and know your boundaries more than ever. While this is the place of Radical Self Expression and more starting out on shaky ground is an earthquake waiting to happen. It is drama that is not fair for each other or for anyone you are camping with.
Good news is there are people out there who can help. The amazing folks at Poly Paradise do more relationship counseling and training than you could ever imagine. Perhaps more than they expected.
The playa is a paradox and going with expectations on yourself or other people will rarely turn out well. It is one thing many of our youth have is that amazing optimism and hope that drives them to a beautiful sunset every day. Find your sunset together if that is the promise you made.
That hot Israeli guy that winked at you is probably going to be out there again next year where you boundaries might be different. Try this article on relationships on the playa too.
Have a beautiful Sun Rise
So there might be some good advice and maybe some positive ideas out of the words preceding. Focus on the love you have for that special person and wherever the universe (playa) drives us then do it in reflection and peace. None of it will be really clear until we return to the default world.